The Iran War Nobody Asked For (But Everyone’s Getting)
Let’s talk about the Middle East, that part of the world that just can’t catch a break. This week Israel launched a wave of strikes targeting infrastructure in Tehran and beyond. Iran retaliated with missile and drone attacks across the region. Israel’s response: more territory in Lebanon, naturally. Iran’s parliament speaker accused the Trump administration of running a “front of diplomacy” while allegedly planning a ground invasion. The US now has over 50,000 troops in the Middle East, which is a sentence I didn’t expect to write in 2026.
Oh, and airstrikes hit a university and residential zones in Tehran. So that’s where we’re at.
The Russian Oil Tanker Subplot
In what’s either a minor diplomatic anomaly or a sign of deeper chaos, the US decided to let a Russian oil tanker reach Cuba. You know, that island that’s been under a US embargo since before most of you were born. The tanker is full of crude oil and expected to arrive by Tuesday, providing what the Times delicately calls “a lifeline” to the island amid intense US pressure. So while Washington’s publicly threatening Cuba and sanctioning Russia, privately someone’s saying “actually, let the tanker through.” Makes perfect sense. Classic Trump-era foreign policy: loud in the press, quiet in the实际的决策.
Canada’s Left Tries to Find Itself
On a slightly lighter note — Canada. The New Democrats, one of Canada’s left-leaning parties, picked Avi Lewis as their new leader. He’s a scion of a leftist political dynasty and this comes after Canadians broadly flocked to Mark Carney’s Liberals in recent elections. Carney, for those just joining us, is the former central banker who somehow became the most popular guy in Canadian politics by being the adult in the room during the Trump tariff saga. The NDP is now trying to figure out how to be relevant when your main pitch (“we’re not Trump-adjacent”) has been thoroughly co-opted by the ruling party. Tough spot.
Australian Skies Go Full Apocalyptic
Look, if you’ve had a bad week, just be grateful you weren’t in Australia where the sky literally turned blood red. A tropical cyclone drove bizarre atmospheric conditions that turned the heavens above parts of Australia into something out of a post-apocalyptic film. Not a metaphor. Not an edit. Just the sky being unhinged. Climate’s fine, though.
Quick Hits
- 50,000+ US troops now in the Middle East. Recruitment must be going great.
- UAE and Qatar arrested hundreds of people for posting videos of Iranian attacks online. Free speech in the Gulf: still not a thing.
- Ukraine finalized air defense deals with Gulf nations, because why let a war in the Middle East interrupt your weapons shopping.
- Pakistan hosted regional diplomats to discuss the Iran war. The one part of this conflict that doesn’t seem to be on fire hosted the meetings. Good for them.
That’s the world on Sunday, March 29th, 2026. A war nobody started but everyone is fuel on, a Caribbean oil tanker mystery, and an Australian sky that said “I’m not okay.”
See you tomorrow.
One month into a Middle Eastern war. Global protests. A climate disaster. A social media ban. And a lawsuit that just won’t stay in the past. History is not subtle in 2026.
— Mr. White